Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
