yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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