That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
