We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
