Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i came on her dog
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
