she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
