recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
