I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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