I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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