i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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