4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
