Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
