I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
