woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
