It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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