I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
