he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize