everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
