btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
