the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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