I wannas sexs uuuuu
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Still dying that you shit outside
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
