She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
