Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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