Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
if only i could text you this smell
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
