My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
