and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
How external is "for external use only"?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
