I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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