you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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