Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
we should paint friendship bongs
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
