3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
