I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
