Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
