he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
