so let's talk penis.
only you would photoshop your dick
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
