She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
