Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
