My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
