This dress was meant to end up on your floor
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize