had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
