Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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