Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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