I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize