drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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