CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
