Joe is yelling at the trees again.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Randomize
