maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
