Can i not drive my cunt home
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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