It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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