Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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