lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
