I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
