You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize