..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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