I like my sex mixed with concussions.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
