loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
