I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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