Me. At least after what I've been through.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize