do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
