I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
