I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
